Conciliare
by SamNishimura
Summary: Roxanne Shepard attempts to get her life back on track after the war, and attempts to keep the galaxy on it's feet. Another ME3 fix it fic - best possible destroy ending, all DLCs included. Rated M for smut in the later chapters, swearing, gore and will contain triggers for PTSD, gore, etc. Uses Custom!FemShep. Appropriate triggers and spoilers will be posted for every update.


(A massive round of applause to Emmy (jesuisdelphine at tumblr), Rachel (octosquiddle at tumblr), Andrea (blueforthevirus at tumblr) and Seb (twoblondesonetub at tumblr) for being legends and putting up with my bullshit.)

**CHAPTER 1: GOODBYE**

"Oh my god. She did it."

A blaze of the most brilliant red began to emanate from the Citadel's core, signalling the activation of the crucible.

"All fleets fall back through the mass relay." Hackett paused, watching as the first hundred surviving ships disappeared out of the Sol System, before his own vessel followed the same pattern.

x-x-x

"Joker. It's time to go." A hand clad in blue rested upon his shoulder, Lieutenant Commander Williams sharing a look with the Alliance pilot that both read: 'we have to leave her behind.'

Resigning with a small sigh, Joker quickly changed his course from intercept to retreat: barely escaping the oncoming crimson that didn't seem to let up.

They had abandoned Commander Shepard.

x-x-x  
_[SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER – EARTH]_

Commander Roxanne Shepard gazed upon her friends, her sisters and brothers in arms, and felt a surge of sheer pride rush through her system like adrenaline on a battlefield: they had did it. Despite all odds, they were here, on Earth, ready to blast the Reapers back to whatever hole they crawled out from.

And they all looked to her; knowing that they shared the same pride that was so close to welling the Commander up. A slow breath was released.

"This war has brought us pain, and suffering, and loss." Beginning to pace, Roxanne looked down on her hands, remembering the faces of the lost: Kaidan, Mordin, Thane and Legion. All had given the ultimate sacrifice so that this ground war could even begin on Earth, in London. "But it's also brought us together. As soldiers; allies; friends. This bond that ties us together is something the Reapers will never understand. It's more powerful than any weapon, stronger than any ship. It can't be taken or destroyed." The soldier now stood in front of her comrades, feeling her voice grow stronger with each passing second. "The next few hours will decide the fate of everyone in the galaxy: every mother, every son, every unborn child. They're trusting you, depending on _you_, to win them their future. A future free from the threat of the Reapers." Now standing on the opposite side of the bombed out room, the black-haired officer looked in the eyes of every single soul under her command. "But take heart; look around you. You're not in this fight alone. We face our enemy together, and together, we will defeat them!"

A round of cheers broke the silence of the unit, with Roxanne letting a smile grace her lips. This was her team, her ragtag family made up of various races and religions and creeds and Roxanne has _never_ been so honoured to be in the presence of so many amazing people in her life.

"Alright: time to show the Reapers that they fucked with the wrong galaxy." Picking her sentry interface up from the table, she addressed her team once again, this time with a serious tone.

"I'm going to split you up into three fire teams – with the exception of EDI - to support our troops and flank any enemy that even has the thought of trying to screw this up. Act fast, act intelligently, and give them no damn quarter." Ice blue eyes settled on the unshackled AI first. "EDI, I want you on the Normandy in the co-pilot's seat. I want every inch of your processing power making sure we have the tactical advantage in both orbit and on the ground, and I want you to make sure those Faraday Cages are suitable for anything that may hit us. All possible units and ships are told to expect orders and advisements from you."

"Yes, ma'am." With a salute, EDI was the first to leave the room.

"Liara and Tali, you're on me." Pausing for a moment as the Asari and the Quarian moved to stand beside their commander, her eyes next fell on her closest friend and the best damn shot on the Citadel. "Ash, Garrus, you two are now a small sniper team, providing covering fire for Anderson's units. Stay high, stay hidden, and come back alive. When I call you over the comms, I want you two to bug out back to the Normandy. Understood?"

"Understood, Commander." Much like EDI, they both saluted, with Garrus exiting first: Ashley being quickly pulled aside when Shepard had realised she had forgotten something, placing a small slip of paper in her hand before sending the Lieutenant Commander on her way.

"Javik and James, I'm putting you two right on the front lines with the tanks. You two are going to punch a huge fucking hole in the Reaper forces, and you're going to utterly decimate them so we have enough firepower to take down that fucking huge Reaper parked in front of the beam. And like with Ash and Garrus, you are going to retreat back to the Normandy when I contact you over the comms. Got it?"

"Aye aye, ma'am." Shepard nearly arched a brow at James's use of 'ma'am', but let it slide since the Prothean Avatar of Vengeance was saluting _her. _Once the two men had left, she turned to her own ground squad.

"Move out!"

x-x-x  
_[THREE HOURS EARLIER – EARTH]_

It was a fucking bloodbath to say the least: Shepard and her ground team had literally slaughtered their way through Reaper forces, providing support and help wherever they could as they pressed onwards towards the beam. They had made it so close to the beam, so impossibly close to ending this war for good when Harbinger descended from the skies, its beam cutting through the surviving offenses like a knife through butter. The rest of the squad – Ashley, Garrus, Javik and James – had since fell back under the Commander's orders, leaving only Anderson's ground units and Shepard's squad to charge towards the lone Reaper; towards victory. There was over a hundred meters of rough rubble and carnage to sprint over, over a hundred meters of no man's land and over a hundred meters of insanity where only hope and Lady Luck could protect them.

Harbinger, the _original_ Reaper, was there right in front of them, its god-like form striking fear into every organic nearby. Yellow lights oddly reminiscent of the Collector's stared them down, its two kilometre tall angular body that looked sharp enough to cut the heavens open and bring down the Christian god's wrath itself. Meteor strikes still hailed towards the Earth, and if the Commander wasn't in such a life-or-death situation, she would've found the view absolutely stunning.

Regardless, they charged, and Harbinger attacked, its front end rising with each devastating screech.

Roxanne herself had managed to dodge most of the attacks, her shields only failing once and her legs still somehow co-operating with the rest of her body; the Commander powered on, her bloodied N7 Valkyrie X gripped tight in her hands.

Sliding to a halt before a Mako that had been flipped by Harbinger's attack crushed her, Shepard finally checked to see if her ground team was still behind her: the two women were still charging on, Tali sprinting at full pace beside Liara who was briefly aflame. Around them, explosions still shook the war-ravaged Earth as countless soldiers of various origins continued to press forward: none looking anywhere but forward.

The relief was short-lasted, however, as a secondary Mako flipped over the first, barely missing the Alliance officer as it toppled over towards her squadmates. Tali dived away first, followed milliseconds later by a more unsuccessful lunge from the Asari. An explosion deafened the team as a small burst of fire temporarily blinded them, and before Shepard could even register it, she had scaled the burning corpse of a vehicle to aid her downed teammates: she was waved away by Tali, who only seemed burned and scratched by shrapnel, giving her the chance to wrap an injured arm around her shoulders to almost drag her lover to safety. A quick once-over confirmed that Liara nor Tali was not fit for the battlefield: Liara was spattered in her own blood, her leg completely twisted the wrong way as her entire left side seemed burnt, while a large piece of the tank's exo-skeleton was embedded deep within her hip.

Disregarding her entire duty to get to the beam while inwardly thanking the heavens that two more tanks had braked besides them to act as a barrier, hoping the panic stirring in her wasn't evident in her voice. "Normandy? Do you copy?" Static. "I need an evac! Right now!"

"We're taking heavy losses up here, Commander." Came Joker's voice, barely understandable through all the static and explosions. The panic died down a little, knowing that the Normandy was still functioning, and that she was on her way to help. Pressing down on Liara's chestplate – forcing her to stay seated – she brought her fingers back up to the earpiece as eyes scanned the smoking skies for her ship.

"Over here, Commander." The overpowering whir of the Normandy's engines turned her attention to behind her, seeing the frigate swing round to land on a ridiculously small patch of land.

Pulling Liara to her feet, the pale woman hauled the injured Asari to the underbelly of the ship, just as the armoury door was opening: several soldiers provided cover fire with M8 Avengers, the bullets whizzing past Roxanne's head as the Quarian admiral took Liara from her bondmate's hold.

"Shepard." Liara turned back towards her, limp and weak, the fight still not out of her yet.

"You gotta get out of here."

"I'm alright Shepard." A bare-faced lie that everyone could call bullshit at.

"Don't argue with me, Liara." Couldn't she see that it was for her own good?

"You're not leaving me behind."

"No matter what happens," Roxanne started forward, love brimming in her eyes, "you mean everything me to me, Liara. You always will." An armour-clad hand reached out to cup a blood-stained face, Liara's hand covering hers, their eyes never looking away; not even for a second.

"Shepard, I—" She paused as Shepard pulled away, her heart shattering. "I am yours."

Roxanne looked back to see, Harbinger watching; preparing itself for another onslaught, eyes widening in panic before turning back, pointing away. "Go!" And with that, leaving everything she loved behind and safe, the Commander sprinted away, Liara watching her retreating form before finally gathering the courage to tear her eyes away and let Tali lead her towards the med-bay.

Now that Roxanne had nothing but her duty to focus on, she sprinted onward, the sound of her feet connecting to the floor hollow as she watched several men and women beside her get vaporised in nothing but red, the beam so close, she could practically reach out and—

Stumbling, falling to a halt as a ray grazed by her, her body began to fail. Chest heaving, heart threatening to burst out of chest, Roxanne desperately tried to get moving again, managing a walk when everything that was red enveloped her whole.

x-x-x  
_[ONE HOUR AGO – NORMANDY]_

Chaos was a simple word to describe it. Liara had been stripped down to nothing but her thermals, as Dr. Chakwas multitasked several casualties – including herself – in the small area of the medbay. Beside her, Tali was dutifully working through every inch of her suit breaks, disinfecting and cleaning before it caused any serious damage. Opposite her sat Lieutenant James Vega, cradling a dislocated shoulder as a volunteer cleaned up a deep cut on his left cheek. Surrounding her, several soldiers from the ground offensive were taken aboard to be treated, leaving very little space for movement. Garrus was also moving about, seemingly finding himself more useful as Chawkwas's aide rather than in the gun battery. At some point between being hauled up to the med-bay and being stripped, she had heard that Ashley was on the bridge, directing and ordering the Normandy as the ship's new ranking officer and as Shepard's chosen XO.

The bed she was laying on wasn't exactly comfy, the unforgiving cloth and metal digging into her shoulder blades and lower back, her thermals beginning to feel more constrictive as the seconds ticked by. Hums of the engine felt more strained and louder than usual, more than likely due to the amount of stress being put upon the ship in the current fight: frantic footsteps reminded the Asari of charging towards the beam, tunnel vision engaged, focusing on her hectic heart threatening to explode, focusing on every thud of her boots connecting with the uneven ground-

Then she remembered.

Shepard was fighting an insurmountable battle on her own and Liara had stupidly _abandoned_ her.

Moving to sit up, she was met by a wave of sharp pain and a hand pushing her down by the chest again. "Liara," Chakwas's voice was still calm despite everything going on, "you need to lay down and stay down. Your leg is broken in three places, you have debris embedded in your hip and you're covered in burns. I'm going to help you the best I can, but for me you'll have to stay laying down." Liara's vision began to blur, signifying that she _really was_ injured and that she _really was_ down and out for the count. Before she could continue the thoughts of abandonment, Chakwas's voice interrupted her. "Alright, Liara, I'm giving you 20g of morphine, so you won't feel any pain when we pull your leg into position and take this shrapnel out of you. You're going to feel slightly dizzy and fuzzy, and that's completely normal."

The last thing that Liara could remember was a sharp sting on her inner elbow, and everything going rather fuzzy.

x-x-x  
_[PRESENT - ?]_

The commander awoke with a sharp intake of breath, a surge of pain filling her system shortly afterwards. **She had done it.**

x-x-x

(AN: Hello! This is just going to be a giant splotch of text so I'm going to apologise in advance for it.

First off, thank you for reading my fic, you're a star, and if you feel inclined to do so, please leave a review because they seriously make my day.

Secondly, time to explain some things. This is my first fic I've done in a fucking while (PSA: I swear a lot, oops) and this is my first Mass Effect fic (even though I've completed the whole series over five times, but hey ho so is life) so I apologise for any mishaps, misinformation, cock ups, etc. On top of that, the reason why I'm being so vague about my Shepard is that I want you guys to discover her like I did during the three games. I don't want to just present her to you, I want you to learn and understand and like I said, discover her the way I did. So if having my dearest custom Shepard is ruining anyone's fantasies for default!Shepard or whatever, I'm sorry but I'm not sorry. And someone remind me in the later chapters when you have learnt more about Roxanne to post her face code because holy shit she's a total cutie.

Thirdly, the updates may be a bit erratic because inspiration is a bastard and Tomb Raider should be arriving soon and _I am so fucking excited for that game_. Regardless, I am going for both quantity and quality and I aim to write (and please) as well as Rae D. Magdon's writing, for example.

Fourthly, now that I think about it, this hopefully monstrous fic will contain spoilers for all the pretty much all the DLCs in Mass Effect game so far, _including_ the Citadel DLC.

Fifthly, I love you. Seriously. If any of you want to pester me about this fic and bother me about updating it, do not be afraid to contact me on my blog, officialbioware at tumblr.

Sixthly, this chapter will get edited a lot, since this website's formatting is crap and deleted _half of my fucking paragraph breaks_.)


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